Aphelion
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Welcome back to the fold
Battle begins again within the city limits of the wonderful locale of Ann Arbor, or collectively known here as A² . That reference is stupid and I hate it.
Sorry... Where was I.
Ah, first my new location where I battle both external and internal demons:
Nothing new there. The house is running relatively smoothly, despite the occasional belligerent and drunken Clappy running around. Haha, he holds his philosophical conversations through the stupor though.
AIESEC is consuming more and more of my time. I have decided to do energy crisis work in Africa through AIESEC next summer. I do not intend on going home again.
As for my state of mind... Well, I find myself changing again. I have this Astronomy Physics double major. I have the possibility of running for presidency of AIESEC Michigan. I have great friends here.
And yet, there’s always this feeling within me. It makes me to go to the highest floor of the tallest building and stare off into the horizon until I fall asleep. It makes me sit in the arboretum and forget the world I am living in.
This thought, this dream... whatever it is... comes to me in waves. Sometimes it becomes subdued for periods of time but it always rises again. It never goes away. I have these dreams at night where I am helping people far away, but I don't see their faces. I just feel happy for once. It is a place so far removed from here. I've realized that there is only one real thing that could cure my depression. That is to make other people happy and to continue to make people happy. And I want to do this somewhere far away from the US.
I know I am going to change the world. I know it. It's not ego, nor ambition. I just know it.
What shall I do with my life? Shall I ignore this feeling and continue with my physics for the next 7 years? Do I sacrifice my dreams and life plan in order to help those people who are barely even surviving? Is this selfishness to stay here? And I just realized recently that somewhere along the way, people started looking up to me to make the right decision.
I now stand at a nexus. A crossroads of time and space. And perhaps... just maybe... there’s a single solution for all these questions. A simple, elegant solution.
Pardon me for horrible grammar and punctuation. I am le tired.
Sorry... Where was I.
Ah, first my new location where I battle both external and internal demons:
Nothing new there. The house is running relatively smoothly, despite the occasional belligerent and drunken Clappy running around. Haha, he holds his philosophical conversations through the stupor though.
AIESEC is consuming more and more of my time. I have decided to do energy crisis work in Africa through AIESEC next summer. I do not intend on going home again.
As for my state of mind... Well, I find myself changing again. I have this Astronomy Physics double major. I have the possibility of running for presidency of AIESEC Michigan. I have great friends here.
And yet, there’s always this feeling within me. It makes me to go to the highest floor of the tallest building and stare off into the horizon until I fall asleep. It makes me sit in the arboretum and forget the world I am living in.
This thought, this dream... whatever it is... comes to me in waves. Sometimes it becomes subdued for periods of time but it always rises again. It never goes away. I have these dreams at night where I am helping people far away, but I don't see their faces. I just feel happy for once. It is a place so far removed from here. I've realized that there is only one real thing that could cure my depression. That is to make other people happy and to continue to make people happy. And I want to do this somewhere far away from the US.
I know I am going to change the world. I know it. It's not ego, nor ambition. I just know it.
What shall I do with my life? Shall I ignore this feeling and continue with my physics for the next 7 years? Do I sacrifice my dreams and life plan in order to help those people who are barely even surviving? Is this selfishness to stay here? And I just realized recently that somewhere along the way, people started looking up to me to make the right decision.
I now stand at a nexus. A crossroads of time and space. And perhaps... just maybe... there’s a single solution for all these questions. A simple, elegant solution.
Pardon me for horrible grammar and punctuation. I am le tired.
:: posted by Greg D, 1:45 AM
4 Comments:
oh la la greg dunkingberger, i only remember u as that kid who always plays CS, hangs out with stupid chatterjie, and never studies, haha.
Who posted the last comment....
i find this quite humorous
How far we've come.... I play DoD now.
